Attempts

It’s 2016 and I think it’s time I make the conscious effort to begin taking pauses and writing again. This is not my first venture into blogging, and since I learned to write I always had journals. My entire elementary life was recorded in journals. I remember them: A Lizzy McGuire one, a Peanuts one, one blue scented floral one with a lock and key. Throughout high school, I maintained a blog and a journal. I just fell out of step with blogging when I got into university, when I had less time to reflect and “bigger things” (or so I thought) to worry about, like my grades and my readings and my friends. And so on.

I’ve always had trouble trying to get back into writing because my old blogs have always been hosted on Blogspot/Blogger, and that’s the platform I’m comfortable with. I know how to tinker with its design and all. But Blogger is all but irrelevant now and I didn’t want to be outdated, so I—me, and not my blogs—migrated to WordPress. For the longest time I couldn’t write anything here because all the templates I tried on my blog felt so wrong, and, at times, were even so ugly or inappropriate that I really couldn’t write. Thankfully I found this one that is just okay, and the internship I had last summer let me feel my way around WordPress mechanics.

So, here we are, with this other Brainrose. Some background: Brainrose was my writing blog, where I’d post my poems and stories, and I maintained that from 2010 to 2013. Brainrose was also the name of my column for the university paper, which I had from 2014 to 2015. The way the columns worked was that each editor got to write one to three columns in the year, so I got to write three. And then there’s this Brainrose.

I really feel like this is much ado about nothing, because this is just an introductory post to the rest of the blog, and introductory posts are only supposed to be so long. But I guess I just wanted to say, for the record, that this is my attempt at writing again. 2014 and 2015 were the years I fell out of love with writing. I just never thought that I was good enough, and I always hated what I’d come up with, and I was never proud of anything. It was—and still is, to be honest—really difficult to write. For some reason I could never find the words I was looking for and I’d just be impatient with myself.

I’ve not always written this way. This all sounds like word vomit to me. I used to write smarter and sharper. So this is me hoping I get to chip off the rust somehow with this blog, and have some record of my life while I’m at it.

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